I'm sorry I left you at a cliffhanger last time, but I'm finally able to divulge one of the changes coming to our lives in the next little while....
Our little nugget baby has returned!
I'm pregnant!
I was pretty sure that I was ovulating back around the 4th of July and I waited and wondered for a good long time. In fact, I refused to take a pregnancy test until I was closer to 6 weeks along because I was too terrified by the answer. I was afraid that it would say No and we'd have to start the fertility drugs all over again. But, I was also afraid that it was going to say Yes. I was so afraid because if I was preggo, I'd have to be worried that it was going to die in there, or that I would miscarry and suddenly be in an emergency situation, or that I would actually carry the thing full term and it would be still born, or, or, OR....!!!!! Fear is a real thing, folks. Seriously.
But, I realized that the fear won't go away even after this baby is born. I will be afraid that something is going to happen to this kid until I'M dead! That's how it is when you're a parent.
How infuriating! How irritating! How WONDERFUL!
How spectacular to love something that you have created. Something that you and the person you love most in this world have come together and created in equal parts of the two of you. There is no one else who will walk this earth that will be exactly like them. How incredible!
So, I'm due March 18th. The doctors have said I'm out of the woods and now I'm able to finally say it to the world!
I went into the doctor recently to have my monthly appointment and the doc said he was going to try to listen to the heartbeat with the Doppler. However, when he scanned for it, he couldn't find it. Of course, that set me into a panic.
We went back to have an ultrasound and as soon as the picture came into focus, we could see our little Nugget flapping it's little arms and legs, arching it's back and basically acting like a jumping bean. The doctor chuckled and said, "Well, that explains why we couldn't find the heartbeat before! The little thing won't hold still long enough!"
If that is any indication of what it will be like when it comes out, boy are Alan and I in TROUBLE!! :)
Sorry to keep it from the blogosphere of space, but I'm hoping you can understand our apprehension.
I can't even tell you how lucky I feel. Yes, I was sick. Yes, I threw up. Yes, I was so exhausted I wanted to cry. Yes, I pee more often than should be humanly possible. But you know what... I'm on the other side of most of that (thank goodness!!!) and I feel so blessed. Alan and I are so ready and willing to be parents. I have wanted this since I was 16 years old. Kid you not. THAT long. I'll be 30 in a couple months. That's almost half of my life that I've wanted to have a baby, folks. I've had to wait a good long time. And because of that, I couldn't be more grateful for that little baby in there who has chosen me to be it's mommy. I hope I can do right by the little thing. But, one thing I can guarantee without any shadow of doubt... NO ONE on this earth will love this little Nugget more than Alan and I. Ever.
Our little nugget baby has returned!
I'm pregnant!
 |
| "One of us is Expecting!!!" |
I was pretty sure that I was ovulating back around the 4th of July and I waited and wondered for a good long time. In fact, I refused to take a pregnancy test until I was closer to 6 weeks along because I was too terrified by the answer. I was afraid that it would say No and we'd have to start the fertility drugs all over again. But, I was also afraid that it was going to say Yes. I was so afraid because if I was preggo, I'd have to be worried that it was going to die in there, or that I would miscarry and suddenly be in an emergency situation, or that I would actually carry the thing full term and it would be still born, or, or, OR....!!!!! Fear is a real thing, folks. Seriously.
But, I realized that the fear won't go away even after this baby is born. I will be afraid that something is going to happen to this kid until I'M dead! That's how it is when you're a parent.
How infuriating! How irritating! How WONDERFUL!
How spectacular to love something that you have created. Something that you and the person you love most in this world have come together and created in equal parts of the two of you. There is no one else who will walk this earth that will be exactly like them. How incredible!
So, I'm due March 18th. The doctors have said I'm out of the woods and now I'm able to finally say it to the world!
I went into the doctor recently to have my monthly appointment and the doc said he was going to try to listen to the heartbeat with the Doppler. However, when he scanned for it, he couldn't find it. Of course, that set me into a panic.
We went back to have an ultrasound and as soon as the picture came into focus, we could see our little Nugget flapping it's little arms and legs, arching it's back and basically acting like a jumping bean. The doctor chuckled and said, "Well, that explains why we couldn't find the heartbeat before! The little thing won't hold still long enough!"
 |
| Not quite a Nugget any longer! |
If that is any indication of what it will be like when it comes out, boy are Alan and I in TROUBLE!! :)
Sorry to keep it from the blogosphere of space, but I'm hoping you can understand our apprehension.
I can't even tell you how lucky I feel. Yes, I was sick. Yes, I threw up. Yes, I was so exhausted I wanted to cry. Yes, I pee more often than should be humanly possible. But you know what... I'm on the other side of most of that (thank goodness!!!) and I feel so blessed. Alan and I are so ready and willing to be parents. I have wanted this since I was 16 years old. Kid you not. THAT long. I'll be 30 in a couple months. That's almost half of my life that I've wanted to have a baby, folks. I've had to wait a good long time. And because of that, I couldn't be more grateful for that little baby in there who has chosen me to be it's mommy. I hope I can do right by the little thing. But, one thing I can guarantee without any shadow of doubt... NO ONE on this earth will love this little Nugget more than Alan and I. Ever.
